Revelations about moms

If parenting is a "job" (dumbest description ever), I promoted my mom today. Let me start from the beginning, I have been more depressed the past two weeks than in my whole thirty years of existence. I just felt awful and could not shake it. The only person I wanted to talk to for comfort, was my mom. It is a weird feeling, but I know that is what a mother does- provides comfort. This morning, I text-ed my mom, no reply. I called my mom, no answer. I text-ed her again, you can see where this is going. I text-ed my step-dad, "are you with mom?""no". Six hours pass, my mom calls. During those six hours, I stumbled upon the terrible feeling of not having a mom to annoy with incessant calls and texts. That thought- as simple as it may be- changed my mind. Parenting is hard and there are no promotions or physical accolades for most of us.  Jobs have guidelines, rules, evidence of failure or success. Parenting is guesswork for everyone, but we spend so much time blaming our parents for our failures. I'm done, I have failed and I will fail again. I'm cool with it. I have succeeded and I will succeed again, I'm cool with that too. But... from now on- I will remember what it feels like to know my mom is not available. I will spend as much time enjoying her before it is too late.